Barry Manilow. Celine Dion. Michael W. Smith. Barbara Streisand. Amy Grant. Vanessa Williams. Frank Sinatra. The three Kennys. (Loggins, Rogers, and G). Even the Vandals.
I swear, whoever the hell came up with the concept of a “Christmas Album” should seriously be shot in the face. “Hey, I have a great idea, [insert name of famous pop star here]! Let’s take all these overplayed Christmas songs and record YOU performing them! I promise it won’t be annoying this time because it’ll be YOU doing them! We can totally cash in on consumerism while making people think they are celebrating the spirit of Christmas!”
And as if that’s not horrible enough, then you have the people who are so void of creativity that they actually put out multiple Christmas albums. For example, Amy Grant has not one, not two, but THREE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CHRISTMAS ALBUMS. I know this because my mother owns all three and blares them throughout our entire house at this time of year.
And this whole time I thought it was the radio that was boring, repetitive, and lacking any artistic merit. I can’t wait to start shopping at all the festive department stores!
Christmas 2002, brought to you by the Walmart Corporation and McDonald’s.