no such thing
Dating is a lot like Jurassic Park in that you think you have everything under control until you realize that an anomaly in the frog DNA you used to splice together the dino DNA has allowed them to reproduce asexually and then all of the sudden a T Rex is eating a lawyer off a …
Continue reading “Where the hell is Ian Malcolm when you need him?”
My best friends have always been the ones who seldom sleep.
12:30 am on a Sunday evening / Monday morning, drunk, watching a movie by myself, and did you know that “aloof” and “alone” are the same T9 predictive text sequence?
I constantly seesaw between wanting to fix the world and wanting to blow it up.
I saw The Flaming Lips last weekend and was bored out of my mind. I attribute this to the fact that I have never smoked weed. Maybe I should start.
It’s so rare and refreshing for someone to actually make you burst into audible laughter via online chat alone that you really have to type it out entirely: “that totally made me really laugh out loud just then” Because, really, why would you even want to abbreviate its importance? And when you’re the provocateur of …
I’ve always believed that a city is only as good as its people. This city’s biggest problem is that anybody who’s anybody doesn’t want to live here. And that just leaves us with the nobodies. Me? Don’t worry, I’m a nobody, too.
In cell phone T9 predictive text, the words “kiss” and “lips” are produced by the same button sequence, 5477. Similarly, “cock” and “anal” also share a button sequence, 2625. A mere coincidence? I think not. Don’t ask me how I know these things.
If the devil’s in the details, I must be a goddamn satan worshipper.
It’s hard to have so much to give but nobody to give it to. It’s like this long, heartfelt email that refuses to send because you’ve entered no recipient.