Sometimes, when I’m out driving, I’ll see an ambulance with lights ablaze, and I’ll think to myself… “Whoever it is they’re trying to save, I hope they die.” I don’t know why. And immediately, I’m ashamed of it.
Category Archives: Ramblings
Tonight’s forecast: scattered thoughts with no chance of an overarching theme
One of my favorite bars here (not that the list is very long) is called The Griffin. Yes, as in that medieval monster thing you’ve probably seen on a coat of arms or two. Appropriately, the interior looks like some sort of castle or dungeon straight out of Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. …
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This might be satire. Or not.
Dear Perplexed Single People of the World, Have you ever noticed that the more doggedly you pursue someone romantically, the more likely that person is to just shrug it off and ignore you? And conversely, have you ever noticed that the less interested you are in the affections of an admirer, the more persistent that …
Standing idly by as Gregor Samsa slowly starves to death
The main light in my kitchen is one of those long fluorescent ones, with a deeply rounded plastic covering. During a housecleaning marathon this summer, I went to the trouble of removing the cover and cleaning out all the dead bugs that had christened it their final resting place It remained fairly pristine until a …
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A song in the air
As a songwriter, once in a while you hear a song so perfect that it evokes everything in you that you could ever hope to evoke in someone else. So you listen to it, and listen to it, and listen to it, until it’s the only thing that matters anymore, the only thing that exists. …
Premises and prior causes
Modern day science is still just a vast primordial swamp, waiting for that elusive spark of life to give rise to some higher understanding. Beyond that veil of hubris, out past the rugged frontier of speculation, what keeps you up at night is how little you really know about yourself. Ask a hundred different people …
How to kill a packrat
Up all night again. Having a hard time with the head lately. Going through boxes inscribed with names of various ex-lovers. Relationships, or close enough, reduced to letters, photographs, and other random useless junk. Hard copy backups of memories long written over in the mind. All taped shut and rotting in the closet since I …
The wondrous world of THE ONE: A loving critique
One of the more interesting “features” of the human mind is our tendency to embrace an irrational belief when we’re not willing to look for (or accept) a more rational explanation. This is especially apparent when it comes to romantic relationships. Without a doubt, one of the best (or worst) examples of this is the …
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High tide for aquatic dating metaphors
Upon finding yourself unexpectedly thrust back into the murky depths of the dating pool, the natural response is to flounder and panic. “What will I do now? Where will I meet someone new? Why can’t I breathe?” And so on. You’ve seen a quarter century now, well out of college and into a career. Fishing …
A handy bathroom
There’s something a little strange about my bathroom, but it’s hard to put your finger on it at first. The first thing you notice is the width of the bathroom door. You might try herding cattle through this door sometime. And it’s very roomy. If you ever had the urge to squeeze a love seat …