Speak truth, follow through

I like to think I am a person who speaks his mind and keeps his word. You’d like to think that this would be a positive character trait.

Unfortunately, you’d be wrong.

Because in the world of social poker faces, nobody really wants to see your hand, so you had better be damn good at bluffing. Because being honest just means you’re gullible, or worse, desperate. God forbid you’d have to actually live up to something you said. Reliability has far too many syllables, so from now on let’s just call it liability.

Just take it with a grain of salt. Your daily recommended dosage.

Remember: never, ever show emotion. Unless of course you’re inebriated, in which case no one will remember anyway.

And if you’re speaking your mind, your big mistake is that you were thinking in the first place. So just talk about the trends—in the weather, or in fashion, or in what amounts to music these days. Whatever it is, just make sure it lacks substance, and make sure your hair looks fantastic.

Because to show passion is to show weakness. Because to plan is to be predictable.

So who’s in? I think I’ll sit this one out.